Fifty Pounds
Of Razor Blades!

He had watched the house for a month. On a clipboard, he recorded the comings and goings of the owners. Considering his occupation, he had no choice. He was a cat burglar. He was very good at what he did, had never been caught, and made it his business to be friends with the police.

The couple that lived there had left for work over an hour ago. He knew there were no children because they were in their later forties and early fifties. He had seen no evidence of a dog so that didn’t worry him. He had learned by experience to carry a baggie with chunks of meat loaded with a mild sedative just in case.

He knew he could get in and out easily. There were no close neighbors and the house was nestled in some trees. Pretending to be lost, he had gone to the house for directions. What he was looking for was evidence that they had a security system. He saw no stickers on doors or windows, so he felt he was safe.

Dressed in dark clothing, he had been dropped off by a friend with orders to pick him up an hour later. He knew that would be plenty of time. His goals were jewelry, cash, and handguns. He had a steady market for guns and jewelry.

Now he was at the back of the house at what he thought was a bedroom window. Taking his glass cutter, he cut a round hole directly across from the window lock. Reaching in, he unlocked the window and slid it open. Grabbing the inside sill, he began pulling himself inside. That’s when it happened!

Something heavy jumped on his back. It began ripping him to pieces. Screaming with pain, he fell out of the window into the yard. Blood was dripping from his face, back, and arms. His black hoodie was in shreds, his shirt and undershirt were gashed with huge tears and blood was everywhere. Gasping in pain, he glanced back at the window in time to see a large form bound back through the window. Terrified, he watched for his ride, crawled in and they raced away.

“Hey honey, it looks like Talon got another one!”

“Really?”

“Come and look!”

The bedroom was covered with bloody, ripped-up clothing. Chuckling to themselves, they began cleaning up the mess.

What the burglar didn’t know was that on a vacation to Canada they had been walking in the woods. They heard something crying in the bushes and upon checking it out they found a baby lynx. They were pretty sure it was abandoned. They had smuggled it across the border and raised it as a house pet. It grew up to be fifty pounds of razor blades! It was the best security system they could ever possibly have. This was the fourth time they had been broken into, each time with the same results. Talon came to them to have his ears rubbed.

“Nice Kitty!”

June 25, 2023