Green Achers

GREEN ACHERS ARE THE GREEN GIANT’S FEET
THEY’RE GREAT BIG HUNKS OF STINKY MEAT
THE STENCH OF THEM GOES FOR MILES AND MILES
CAUSING YOUR OLFACTORY GLANDS TO BE DEFILED

SOMETIMES YOU’LL FIND HIM SOAKING IN A POND
BETWEEN HIS TOES YOU’LL SEE REEDS AND FRONDS
SIGHS OF RELIEF YOU’LL OFTEN HEAR HIM SAY
AS HE WIGGLES HIS TOES ABOUT IN MUDDY CLAY

FOR SOME RELIEF HE SEARCHES FAR AND WIDE
THE SIGHT OF HIM MAKES PEOPLE RUN AND HIDE
UNFORTUNATE FOR HIM THERE’S NO RELIEF IN SIGHT
WHICH MEANS HE’LL ENDURE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

A PEDIATRIST HE MOST SURELY MUST SEE
IT'S BECAUSE HIS PAIN IS TO THE NINTH DEGREE
A TRUNK OF A MIGHTY OAK IS HIS CANE
EVERY EXCRUCIATING STEP HAS BECOME HIS BANE

GRUMPY, HE NOW WANDERS THROUGHOUT THE LAND
FOOTSTEPS GROW LARGER AS SWOLLEN FEET EXPAND
HIS GREEN ACHERS HAVE GOT THE BEST OF HIM
NOW THEY ROT AWAY, HIS HOPE OF HEALING IS SLIM

IF YOU’RE A GREEN GIANT AND YOUR FEET HURT BAD
THE SOLUTION BELOW WILL MAKE YOU GLAD, NOT SAD
TRACTOR TIRE SANDALS LINED WITH WOOL OF A SHEEP
WILL EASE THE PAIN, YOU’LL GET A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP

SO, GREEN ACHERS, THEY’RE NOT REALLY SO BAD
IF YOUR FOOTWEAR WORKS AND YOU’RE WOOLY CLAD
THROUGHOUT THIS LAND YOU CAN WALK WITH A SMILE
GRUMPY NO MORE, THE SOLUTION IS SO WORTHWHILE

Friday, June 24, 2022