The Cat From Hell

I WILL NEVER FORGET THE DAY
I RECEIVED THAT FATEFUL CALL
IT WAS MY BEST FRIEND, JOHN
WHOM I’D HELPED, JOBS BIG AND SMALL

“MY CAT HAS DONE SOMETHING STUPID”
“YOU KNOW, SADIE, THE SIAMESE”
“I CAN’T HELP HER BY MYSELF”
“WILL YOU COME OVER, PRETTY PLEASE”

WHAT I SAW WHEN I ARRIVED
MADE ME LAUGH TIL IT BROUGHT TEARS
FOR SADIE STOOD BEFORE ME
RUBBER BAND PROTRUDING FROM HER REAR

SHE WAS MAKING A MOURNFUL SOUND
AS BOWLEGGED AS SHE COULD BE
AS JOHN AND I STOOD AND PONDERED
ON REMOVING IT, JUST HOW DO WE

“SHE STARTED OUT BY EATING
THE ELASTIC TOPS FROM MY SOCKS”
“BUT TO GRADUATE TO THIS
HAS COME AS QUITE A SHOCK”

 JOHN WENT TO FIND SOME TWEEZERS
WHILE I PICKED UP THAT STUPID CAT
GENTLY THEN I ROLLED HER UP
INSIDE JOHN’S FRONT DOOR WELCOME MAT

SADIE BEGAN TO SQUALL AND SQUIRM
AS JOHN GRABBED HOLD OF THE BAND
PULLING HARD, THE TWEEZERS SLIPPED
AND THINGS GOT RAPIDLY OUT OF HAND

SHE TOOK OFF LIKE A FIERY ROCKER
AND UP THE CURTAINS SHE FLEW
AROUND AND AROUND THE ROOM WE RACED
CATCHING HER, WE HAD NO CLUE

FINALLY SHE WAS CORNERED
A RAGING BEAST SHE HAD BECOME
A TOWEL TOSSED, HASTY GRAB
THE DEMON DID FINALLY SUCCUMB

HOLDING HER BECAME AN ORDEAL
AS SHE FOUGHT US TOOTH AND NAIL
THE TWEEZERS SLIPPED, HER BUTT POPPED
AGAIN FROM MY ARMS SHE BAILED

FINALLY THE TASK WAS COMPLETED
WITH LOSS OF BLOOD AND SKIN
SADIE DISAPPEARED TO NURSE HER BUTT
WE DOUBT SHE’LL DO IT AGAIN!!!

Thursday, June 23, 2022