Mrs. Limppickel called the class to attention. “Good morning, I’m sure you know what I am going to announce. It’s that special time of year. It’s essay time.”
An audible groan erupted from the class.
“You may choose any topic you want. It has to be a minimum of 500 words and you will have to read it before the class. It is due next Monday so you will have the weekend to prepare.
Billy slumped down in his chair, “Not again,” he thought, “I got a D minus on the last one!”
Josh, Jason, and Tommy were in the same boat. They hated doing essays. After school they walked home together.
“Well, there goes the weekend!” grumbled Tommy.
“Ain’t that the truth!” added Josh.
“I had plans for Saturday morning,” griped Jason, “I was going to the flea market with my dad.”
“Maybe we can salvage part of the weekend,” offered Billy.
“How?”
“Let’s work on them together. I have a topic in mind,” he answered.
“What is it?”
“Not now., meet me at the clubhouse Saturday afternoon. That will give you time to go with your dad to the flea market, won’t it Jason?”
Relieved, Jason nodded yes and they went home.
Saturday afternoon arrived and the boys were at the clubhouse. Billy was waiting on them.
“Ok, Billy, what ya got in mind?” asked Tommy.
Billy smiled as he told them that he had planned, “Let’s do essays on “Why I Hate
Essays.” Each one of us will do a different view on it.”
“You gotta be kiddin’ me!” said Josh.
“No, I think it will work,” he answered, “each of us will be helped by the other three.
That way we can toss out ideas.”
“Sounds crazy enough to work!”
“What will Mrs. Limppickel say? Think we can get away with it?” asked Tommy.
“I don’t see why not. She said we can do it on anything.”
“Ok, who does the first one?”
“Tommy, how about you?” asked Billy.
“I guess so. What is the first topic?”
“Do I Have To Do An Essay? How’s that for starters?”
The boys started giggling. And thus it began. The other boys had a lot of input and in no time Tommy’s was done. Laughing, they asked Billy what the next topic was.
“Is This Essay Important?”
The boys looked at each other and shouted “No!”
The problem is will Mrs. Limppickel agree with us?”
“Probably not but we’re still gonna do it. Josh, why don’t you do this one,” said Billy?
With all four pitching in it went quickly. After finishing it, they looked at Billy for the next topic.
“Is This Essay A Waste Of Time?”
The boys began laughing and nodded their heads yes.
“Jason, this one is yours. Considering your weekend plans I thought it was a good one for you.”
“You’re right. We had to hurry back so I could come here.”
“Got any ideas how to do this one?” asked Billy.
“Oh yeah!” answered Jason, “I do but I still need your help.”
The boys got busy and Jason’s essay was done in no time.
“What about yours, Billy,” asked Tommy, “what is it?”
“Will I Get A Good Grade On My Essay!” he replied.
“I hope so,” giggled Tommy.
“I can’t wait until Monday. This is gonna be fun,” replied Josh.
Monday came soon enough and the boys were waiting their turn. They had just listened to Jessica’s essay about her family’s vacation. they were bored.
“Billy, it’s your turn.”
“Mrs. Limppickel, can Tommy go first. After he does his then Josh, Jason and then me.
You’ll understand why once we start.”
“Yes, I guess that will be alright,” she answered, “Tommy, are you ready?”
“Yes ma’am,” he answered while going to the front of the class.
“What is your essay about?” she asked.
“My essay is titled “Do I have to do an essay?”
Immediately the class began laughing. The teacher stared at him.
“Why did you pick that topic?”
“You said it could be on any topic. I chose this one,” he answered.
“All right, you may begin.”
Tommy did a good job. The problem was the more he read the more uncomfortable he became. After finishing, he laid his essay on her desk and sat down.
“Josh, I believe it’s your turn,” she said.
Josh went to the front of the class and waited.
“What is your essay topic?”
“My essay topic is ”Is this essay important?”
Mrs. Limppickel gave him the evil eye.
“You may begin, she ordered.
Josh read about all the pros and cons of the importance of an essay, ending with whether it was important to him or not.
“Josh, take your seat immediately!” she snarled, “Jason, it’s your turn.”
Jason went to the front of the class and waited.
“What is your essay topic?”
“The title of my essay is “Is This Essay A Waste Of Time?”
The class began laughing and almost all of them shook their head yes.
“You may begin,” she sighed.
Jason began to read. Most of it expounded on it being a waste of time. Mrs. Limppickel was mad. He could tell it by her beet -ed face.
“Jason, take your seat immediately,” she ordered.
Mrs. Limppickel dreaded the next one. She knew it was Billy’s. She also knew he was the ringleader of the boys and the topic was probably his idea.
“Billy, it’s your turn,” she said with dread.
Billy smiled and went to the front of the class.
“What is your essay topic?”
My essay is titled “Will I Get A Good Grade On My Essay?”
The classroom roared with laughter.
She got them quieted down and nodded for him to begin.
Billy began, “I believe I should get a good grade for my essay because I hate doing essays. I believe they are a waste of time. Since I believe that, it seems that if I’m being forced to do something I don’t want to do, I should be rewarded for doing it.”
On and on he gave his argument. He could see Mrs. Limppickel out of the corner of his eye. She was upset. It was obvious. She was hyperventilating and moaning, rocking back and forth in her chair.
“Billy, you may take your seat,” she cried.
Billy sat down and waited. He knew something was going to happen. He just didn’t know what.
Mrs. Limppickel slowly rose from her sear and staggered to her desk. Turning, she stared at the boys. She slowly shook her head and left the room. A few minutes later, Mr. Dickinson, the principal entered the room. Silently he stood before the class and then he did a strange thing. He smiled.
“Your teacher told me what happened. The school nurse is tending to her right now. I have to hand it to you. What you boys did took a lot of courage. You did something I wish I had done in school. I hated doing essays. Hated them with a passion. I want you to sit quietly until class is over and then go on to your next one. She will calm down. I will make sure nothing bad comes from this,” he announced.
They had a substitute teacher the next day. As they took their seats their graded essays were on their desks.
“I don’t believe it! I got an A!” said Tommy.
“Me too!” said Josh.
“I got one too!” Jason said while holding his paper and scratching his head.
“I got an A-plus!” beamed Billy, “just wait till next year’s essay!”
The boys looked at him, shook their heads, and moaned.
“Billy!”
June 24, 2023